Being raised by a single parent is challenge for both the child and the parent. The child, however, will deal with long-lasting effects when they’re looking for a loving relationship. If you were raised by a single parent, you understand that the effects are deep and will impact you all your life. Look below to learn more about the ways children who grew up with a single parent love differently.
Although being raised by a single parent is a unique experience all around—with highs and lows hidden throughout—there are many effects that impact children’s lives as they continue to grow.
The impact of living with only one parent leaves its mark in surprising ways, especially when it comes to future relationships. Unfortunately, some children of single parents don’t realize the consequences (and benefits) of how they were raised, despite how simple it may be to grasp, “Oh they just lived with their mom for a while.” There’s a lot more to unpack there.
Trust issues: With an absent parent, it becomes harder for the child to trust people. If it’s a father they’re missing, then that child’s relationship with men may be strained. And if it’s a mother, then the same effect occurs in their relationships with women. Developing trust for a role model that wasn’t there throughout the development years is difficult because the child believes that the person they’re trying to love will leave, too, or will be just as absent.
Trust intensity: Once the trust issues are conquered, though, the child will trust the person more than anything. This is because the person has somehow defied what they’ve believed throughout their developmental years, going against their childhood experience and allowing them to see the other side for the first time.
Loyalty is priority: And once they discover that intensity of trust, loyalty is all that matters to the child. There are only a select few people they’ve let in (like their single parent and sibling), so when they finally learn to trust the person, they’re basically family. It’s a sacred line that should never be crossed.
Promises are important: Finding someone to depend on is already difficult enough, but this is especially so with children who grew up with a single parent. Keeping a promise, no matter how small, is one of the most important aspects in how a child registers the significance of a relationship.
Independency: Due to their upbringing, the child likely knows how to take care of themselves. Whether it’s making dinner, cleaning the house or budgeting a checkbook, the child will definitely know how to accomplish a lot of things all by themselves because they had no other choice given the reality of their single parent upbringing.
Rejection is the biggest fear: Just because the child grew up feeling rejected by the absent parent doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking when they are rejected by someone else. They might be able to take rejection strongly and with some sort of stride, but deep down rejection harbors a lot of terrible emotions from childhood.
Abandonment is the second biggest fear: There’s a difference between rejection and abandonment. Rejection is not getting invited to prom, while abandonment is being invited but not being picked up. It’s the dreadful feeling that the child wasn’t good enough at the last minute, right when they were beginning to trust. It’s also a broken promise.
Being a single parent is not an option: The child of a single parent understands the struggle of being raised in those circumstances, so they will do anything to make sure the same doesn’t occur with their own offspring.
Skeptical towards love: Quite possibly the hardest pill to swallow, a child of a single parent will find it incredibly difficult to believe in fairy-tale love. The whole idea of a couple enjoying decades of unabridged love and marriage is ridiculous to them. They didn’t see it growing up, so why wouldn’t they think it doesn’t exist?
They want to believe in love: Because the child didn’t experience the fairy-tale love they see amongst their peers and in pop culture, they have a deep longing for its mystical appeal. That kind of security, nurture, success and happiness seems so impossible to them… but they still want it.
One should be aware if they’re dating someone who is a single parent because, as is apparent given this list, they’re very sensitive. If their hard shell is cracked, it’ll be even harder for them to let anyone else inside.
However, on a positive side, if someone who grew up with a single parent does fall in love with someone else, know that it’s a beautiful phenomenon to them that someone has accepted them, finally.
One other thing the child will put as a priority: love. If they’ve been longing for the amazing emotion for years, they’ll put it above anything else until they find it.
Source: Rebel Circus