Three of the most important people of your life.
There are only ever really 3 people with whom you are going to fall in love in your life. And all of these love affairs play very significant roles in shaping who you are as a person and how you are going to love in life.
The first person that you fall in love with is someone from the early parts of your life. This is a point in your life wherein you still carry very romanticized and idealized perceptions of love. This is when you still somewhat believe in fairytale-type love stories. This is the kind of love that you think the entire world expects you to have.
You’re not entirely sure that this love is the right one for you, but you know that it’s what the other people expect you to have. You might be uncomfortable in this love, but you are going to suppress your real feelings as much as possible. You are going to make a genuine effort to make this love work, but dep down, you know that it isn’t. Over time, you will start to learn and understand that you have no idea what true love is, but you are fairly sure that this isn’t it; this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
In your first love, you are going to be more concerned about how things look from the outside than what you’re really feeling on the inside. So while that love can look like it’s the best thing ever, it doesn’t always feel that way when you’re in it.
The second time that you fall in love is going to be a little heavier experience than the first. This is supposedly the love that really imparts valuable lessons about life and relationships to you. This is the kind of love that is really going to force you to face your pain and your disappointment. This is the kind of love that compels you to really come to terms with your feelings no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
The second time is a lot more difficult than the first one because this is the love that you really want to be able to sustain. The first love ended and that was unfortunate. But this second love, even though things are incredibly difficult, you know that you would just collapse and disintegrate into nothing if you allowed it to end. This is the love where you try to apply all of your learnings from your first time around, but you then come to the realization that you have so much to learn. You are nowhere near ready to handle what it means to be in a real relationship, and this new discovery frightens you.
In this second love, the environment isn’t necessarily going to be a healthy one for you. You are going to feel broken and abused. You are going to get incredibly fed up from all of the unnecessary stress and drama that you bring unto yourself. But you get sucked in. You fool yourself into thinking that you can’t get out anymore because of how much of yourself you’ve invested into the relationship. So you try your best to take the good with the bad. You try your best to just power through even though ultimately, the end is inevitable.
This is the kind of love that you really want to make work even though the odds are stacked against you. This is the “us against the world” kind of love, and you give your all for it – but even your all isn’t always going to be enough.
And lastly, the third love is going to be the one that catches you by surprise. It’s the love that takes whatever wrong notions you have about romance and it crushes them completely. This is the love that just walks into your life without much effort and so you start to think that it’s too good to be true. This is the love wherein you actually learn what it means to have a strong emotional connection with another person. This is the love that teaches you what it means to establish a bond with someone else. It’s the love that exposes you to the idea of being legitimately scared of losing another person.
This love intimidates you at first because of how seamlessly it slithered its way into your life. This is the kind of love that you walked into without any real expectations at all. It just kind of happened and you never had the opportunity to really think about what you expected out of things. This is the kind of love that didn’t give you the time you needed to adjust; but you didn’t need to.
This is the love that really made you feel accepted for who you are. This is the love that gave you the confidence to go about the relationship in the way that you genuinely wanted to. This is the love that you know is real. This is the love that you’ve been waiting for your whole life. This is the love that you know is just the result of all the failed love experiments you have had in the past.
Source: Relationship Rules