Ever heard the phrase “nice guys finish last?” We’re going to bet that you have, and that you know exactly the kind of “nice guys” we’re talking about here. See, we’re not here to drag guys who are actually nice—no, we want to talk about the kind of guy who describes himself as a “nice guy” despite the fact that he has no clue how to actually treat a girl with kindness and respect. You know the type. They always complain about being “friend zoned” even though they gave no indication that they were interested in you, they expect that showing the bare minimum of human decency to a girl is enough to make her fall at his feet, and worst of all, he is completely blind to all of his flaws and blames the world for his failures with girls. Here are 15 reasons why “nice guys” deserve to finish last.
They Act Like They Just Want To Be Friends
Here is one of the most grievous mistakes that these so-called “nice guys” make right off the bat, every single time. They act like they just want to be your friend for the longest time, and you’re perfectly happy with that relationship, so you never see him as anything more. And then after a month or two of casually hanging out together, this dude drops the bomb: he’s secretly been lusting after you this whole time, and you literally had no clue. Well, you thought he just wanted to be your friend, you’re completely blindsided, you tell him that you must have read the situation wrong and you’re not interested, and he’s ready to storm off in a huff. These “nice guys” simply have no clue that they need to make their intentions known early on. Otherwise, how are you supposed to know what they want? You’re no mind reader!
They Hate Making The First Move
Now, we know that it’s 2017, and in this day and age, guys don’t really have to make the first move anymore. In fact, plenty of girls out there are sick of waiting around for guys to do all the work, and they’d rather just put themselves out there and ask a guy out if they’re interested! But it’s okay to admit that we still do enjoy it when a guy does take the plunge and make the first move. Hey, it’s a ton of pressure off our back! No one likes to be the person to do it, so whenever a guy takes it upon himself to be the one who says, “Hey, you want to get dinner?” it’s such a relief. But nice guys? They really, really hate making the first move. In their ideal world, they would just wait around until you confessed your undying love for them.
Girls like a guy who has a backbone. Someone who can handle obstacles with dignity, who doesn’t grovel and complain every time he doesn’t like the hand that he’s been dealt. After all, it’s a sign of maturity, and you don’t want to deal with a guy who’s a total whiner. But guess what so many of these nice guys have in common? They just love to whine. It’s their hobby. They’re so nice—so why do bad things still happen to them? In their minds, they don’t deserve it! Well, here’s the thing—horrible things happen to great people every single day, regardless of whether or not they actually deserve it. It doesn’t matter if you’re practically Mother Teresa. Recognizing this and accepting it is a major part of growing up, and if a guy hasn’t reached this stage yet, maybe he’s not as “nice” as he thinks he is.
They’re Not Assertive
We’ve hinted at this in a few previous entries, but we’re just going to put it bluntly: the typical “nice guy” is not very assertive, and frankly, that’s why he often doesn’t get what he wants. He doesn’t make his intentions and feelings known from the start and pretends to be your friend instead because it’s less intimidating than admitting how he really feels. He doesn’t want to be the one to have to ask you out and would rather wait for you to speak up because he’s too nervous to go for what he wants. And half the time, all that bad stuff that he whines about happens to him because he wasn’t brave enough to speak up for himself when it really mattered—he would rather run to you to complain instead. The world helps those who help themselves, and nice guys are just digging themselves into ditches.
They Can’t Handle Conflict
This ties right in with not being assertive enough. Now, no one likes to get in a fight with her boyfriend. But if you’re both mature enough to handle conflict, it’s a lot less painful. You have to have good communication skills, a sense of trust in each other, and you have to recognize when it’s just not worth the fight. Nice guys? They don’t understand this. When you get upset, their first thought is not “Okay, how do we solve this problem in a way that works for both of us?” Instead, he’s sitting there wondering, “Okay, now how do I get myself out of trouble?” He’s not really thinking about how to solve the problem. He’s wondering how he might be able to smooth things over and just pacify you for the time being so that you won’t be mad at him. He’s placing his own needs above yours.
Their Expectations Are Too High
Nice guys think that they’re all Prince Charming. If only that were true—maybe if he really was that great, you’d actually want to be his princess! But sadly, he’s just not hitting that standard. However, he still expects you be to like a Disney princess deep down. Another super annoying thing about nice guys? They will always put you up on a pedestal, and some of them will make you feel like dirt when you don’t live up to the expectations that they have imposed on you. It’s so unfair, really. They build up this fantasy about you in their mind, and they expect you to be perfect at all times. So when you do something that doesn’t fit with their little fantasy, they feel offended and will usually say something like, “I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.” Ouch. If any guy says this to you, run.
They’re Too Clingy
Nice guys never know how to give a girl her space. Their idea of a relationship involves being attached at the hip to some girl that they’re totally infatuated with. When we’re young and inexperienced in relationships, we often think that giving each other space means we like each other less, or that we’re growing apart. but once you get older, you realize that you absolutely need your own space sometimes, otherwise, you’ll just drive each other insane! Nice guys, however, don’t see it that way. At first, their obsession with spending time with you seems sweet, but after a while, you just feel like you’re being suffocated, and you’re going to scream if you have to spend one more second with him. And he can’t understand why! Don’t let a nice guy cling to you like a barnacle and then make you feel like the bad guy for needing space.
They Blame You For Everything
No matter how flawed these “nice guys” actually are, they’re blind to all that. They have this perfect picture of themselves in their head that they are just unwilling to let go of. They really think that they can do no wrong, and when something DOES actually go wrong, well, of course it can’t be their fault! They’re so nice, after all, how could they have screwed up so badly? So, what happens when someone like this comes along who can’t seem to accept responsibility any time they mess up? Well, they have to find someone else to blame. It’s the next logical step for them. So if you’re spending a lot of time with this guy and he feels like things aren’t going the way he wants, he won’t stop to examine his behavior for even a minute. He’ll immediately jump to blaming you, it all must be your fault, he’s too nice!
They Have Double Standards
Remember how we mentioned earlier that these guys tend to put girls they’re interested in way up on a pedestal? And they set their standards too high for any girl to realistically reach, but they project that fantasy on to you anyway? And on top of all that, they don’t like to take the blame when anything goes wrong? All of this adds up to some serious double standards for his behavior versus yours. It means that half the things he gets mad at you for, he won’t see as an issue if he does it himself. Is this fair? No, not at all. But it’s just how these fake “nice guys” operate. They truly have no sense of their own flaws, but they expect perfection out of you. It’s such blatant hypocrisy, but they will always fail to see it until they finally get a serious wake up call.
They Won’t Take “No” For An Answer
So, we’ve already established that these guys are pretty averse to making the first move. They don’t want to ask you out, and they would rather you just make it easier on them by admitting your feelings first, therefore setting them up to ask you out on a date. However, let’s say that you’re not interested (and when a girl can see what a guy like this is really like, she usually isn’t). Well, you’re in for a rocky road ahead, because guys like this don’t respond well to the word “no.” He may hang his head and act like he’s given up at first, but just give him a week and he’ll be back to texting you 24/7, begging for your attention and asking why you won’t just give him a chance. Guys like this have such an inflated positive self-image that they can’t imagine why a girl would reject them.
They’re Not Mature
Okay, we’ve hinted at this in a few other spots on this list, but we’re just going to put it plainly now: these guys are immature. See, a mature guy who is actually ready to take on a serious relationship will be aware of his flaws and actively working to make himself a better man. And he’ll be looking for a woman who shares the same mindset. However, these “nice guys” have not reached that point in their lives yet, and who knows if they ever will? Some of them will certainly grow up and change, but ask any grown woman, she probably still encounters guys like this from time to time. They just never seem to grow up. They have serious Peter Pan syndrome. They don’t understand how to treat a woman with respect because they’re not even working on seriously improving their own lives yet. They don’t have their priorities straight.
They Can’t Deal With Rejection
So, by now you’re aware that guys like this can’t take “no” for an answer. This all ties into one major aspect of their personality, and the quality that truly connects all of these guys: they cannot handle rejection with an ounce of dignity. They cannot simply accept that a girl is not interested in them, pick their chin up, and move on with their lives. Instead, they will insist on pestering her, on telling her how great they really are if you just get to know them, and how great the two of you could be together. Does this sound familiar? Guys like this are all over high school and college campuses. They completely lack self-awareness, and they fall to see that behavior like this automatically disqualifies them from being a truly nice person. Real nice guys can respect a girl when she tells them she doesn’t want to date them.
They Don’t Really Get To Know You
For a nice guy, you’re just part of an ideal image that he has of his life. He doesn’t take the time to get to know the real you, the you underneath the surface, the side of your personality that you don’t show to everyone. Because of this, he projects a whole lot of qualities on to you that don’t actually exist, and then he is inevitably disappointed when you turn out to be a completely different person than the one he built up in his mind. And that’s one other major issue with nice guys: if they were truly “nice,” they would take the time to really get to know you before asking you out. They would wait to see if you were a good match before asking you out on a date. They wouldn’t just put you on the spot like that before feeling out whether you were interested.
They Just Want To Get Physical
Wonder why those nice guys don’t bother to put in the time and effort to actually get to know the real you? Wonder why they spend so much time building up a fantasy of who they want you to be instead of figuring out who you really are? It’s because many of them are not interested in a real relationship. Sure, they’ll ask you on a date and might even ask you to be their girlfriend. They’ll say they’re head over heels in love with you and that they truly want to be with you but the truth is that many of them are much more interested in the physical aspect of a relationship than the emotional side of things. If they truly cared about you as a person, they wouldn’t behave this way. They care a lot more about “scoring” than they do about actually falling in love-it’s pretty sad.
They Only Act “Nice” At First
See the pattern here? These guys pop into your life acting like they have good intentions. He’s chill, he’s nice to you, he wants to be your friend, you guys can grab coffee and do homework together and just casually talk with no pressure, what’s not to like? And then he drops that bomb and says he’s into you, and it all starts falling apart. That’s when the mask comes off and you see his true nature, and you realize that he was never the really the “nice guy” he pretended to be. That was all lie, and he was simply biding his time and acting like fake until he could potentially get what he wanted from you. Be extremely wary of guys like this. Hey, you’ve got at least 15 good reasons to avoid them. They’re never as nice as they seem when you first meet them, so always be careful out there!
Source: The Talko